


Letters

by 391780 (goblinparty)



Series: Cold Wind [20]
Category: Fargo (2014)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinparty/pseuds/391780
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second Numbers entered the bar, he spotted her immediately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

The second Numbers entered the bar, he spotted her immediately. Even after several years, she looked exactly the same, just as blond and petite as ever, dressed in all white and chugging down a beer between servings of hot wings. Numbers felt a tap on his shoulder.

_Is that her?_ Wrench nodded towards Letters. Numbers nodded.  _She's pretty._

_She's batshit crazy._ Numbers smirked.  _You'll like her._ Hammer tapped his brother's shoulder.

_Let's get a game of pool going while Numbers gets reacquainted. It's been a while and I'm in the mood to kick your ass._ Wrench snorted and rolled his eyes, then wandered to the back of the bar with his twin. Numbers ordered a beer at the bar and stalked over to Letters' table, causing her to grin widely.

“Holy fuckballs, Mister Numbers, it's been ages!” She patted the seat next to her, and he sat down. She threw a look to the twins at the pool table and raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Did you get all sociable and shit while I was gone? Are you rolling with a hot cowboy twin posse now?” She licked her lips and Numbers chuckled.

“I'm, ah, partners with one of them.” 

“Which one? Have you seen him naked? Does he have a nice ass? I'd wager he does, but jeans can be deceiving.” 

“Oh my god, Letters.”

“Do you think identical twins have identical cocks?”

“Oh my GOD, Letters!”

“I need to find out. For science.” She tapped her finger against her chin thoughtfully.

“Please don't fuck my partner.” Said Numbers, a little too quietly with his head slightly bowed. Letters' eyebrows shot up and her eyes got wide.

“Ohhh? Numbers, darling, why on earth would you even care?” The look in her eye was dangerous, and Numbers had all but forgotten the tenacity of Miss Letters. If there was something she wanted to know, she'd do whatever it took to find out. She lifted his chin with her finger.“Numbers, dearest, you've never kept a secret from me. Don't start now.” Numbers swallowed hard.

“I'm sort of, erm, seeing him.” He mumbled.

“ _Seeing him_.” She echoed, practically purring. She let out a loud, cackling laugh, and slapped him on the shoulder. “You've converted to the ways of the cock! Congratu-fucking-lations, man!” She raised her glass and took a swig of her beer, then pinched Numbers' cheek. “Mommy's little cock-monster!”

“Oh my god.” Numbers muttered, his cheeks reddening. 

“So,” she said, glancing over at the twins again, “Which one is yours?”

“The cute one.” 

“They're identical twins, fucknuts.”

“The one in the fringe jacket.” Letters and Numbers sat quietly for a moment, watching the brothers play pool and tease each other over bad shots and worse taste in beer. Letters cocked her head at the sight of them signing to one another.

“What are they- wait, shit, are they deaf?”

“Wrench is, yeah.”

“Which one is that?”

“Mine.” Letters smiled at Numbers' sweetly.

“ _Yours._ That's cute. You almost sound sentimental.” She smiled at him.

“Yeah. Must be getting old.” Numbers took a swig of his beer, as she chuckled at him.

“So how does that work, exactly? Like, how do you talk to him? Do you just write everything down?”

“I sign.”

“You? You sign? Mister Old-Dogs-New-Tricks?” She asked incredulously. Numbers shrugged and nodded, eliciting a hoot. “I'm impressed. He must have a _real_ pretty dick.” Numbers snorted into his beer. “Hey, what's the sign for 'fucking'?”

“You mean like the verb?”

“Yeah.” Numbers showed her, making two little finger people and grinding one on top of the other. “Ooh, I really like that. Gonna have to remember that one.” She glanced over to Wrench, who was mocking one of Hammer's recent bad shots. “Must be nice to finally be able to fuck someone that can't hear that whiny noise you make when you cum.”

“Christ. _Anyways,_ what brings you back to this frozen shithole? You never said.” Numbers hoped he could steer her in a direction that didn't involve talking about Wrench's dick or his sex life.

“Oh, well, after Reno put the hit out on me I went to Vegas, started stripping, got a nice little trailer off Flamingo. When I heard he'd moved his ass to Caracas and Fargo was taking over out there, I decided to come back. Plus, there's a girl.” 

“A girl, huh?” Numbers smirked.

“It's not like that. Unfortunately. She and I worked the same titty bar, and she just got married to this dumbshit who owns a trucking company in Minnesota. I love her to pieces, and I told her I'd come out to the Midwest with her so she wouldn't be entirely alone out here.”

“Quite magnanimous of you.”

“Well, not entirely. I convinced Fargo to use the husband's trucking company. Her husband gets more money that Gina can blow on buying me drinks when I visit, and Fargo gets new trucking routes and equipment. Everybody wins. Especially me, because Fargo gave me a bonus _and_ I get to keep my best girl happy.” She threw back the last of her beer and winked at the old bartender, who promptly brought her a new one. “So. Numbers. Ginger Colonel Sanders over there-” she gestured towards Hammer, who was cursing a missed shot “- is his drumstick available for tasting?” Numbers snorted and shook his head in disbelief.

“I would swear the only things you think about are killing, fucking, and drinking.” She grinned devilishly.

“And money. Don't forget money, darling. But honestly, it's been forever since I've been in this blustery ice hole and all my regular fuckbuddies are either dead or seeing someone exclusively... You and Wrench _are_ exclusive, I take it?” Numbers nodded, and Letters sighed in mock disappointment. “So just be a pal point me in the direction of someone willing and eager. Preferably hot. I'm not picky about gender.”

“I think Jergen got divorced a while back.” Letters cocked an eyebrow.

“The office wallaby?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. I guess he's got a lot of energy and an active mouth... Oh, speaking of, he said we have partners now? What the everloving fuck? When did that happen?”

“While ago now. You meet your partner yet?”

“Not yet. Some jackhole named Mister Hammer. I swear to Zeus's dildo if I get some balding, grey faced weeaboo I'm gonna lose my- what the fuck is so funny?” Letters squinted at Numbers, who was laughing so hard no sound was coming out. He coughed a few times and pointed to the twins playing pool.

“Ginger Colonel Sanders is Hammer.” Letters' eyes got wide, and Numbers could see a mischievous glint in them.

“You don't say.” She purred, looking Hammer up and down like a cat ready to pounce on a small bird.

“Poor bastard.” Numbers chuckled into his beer, earning his a playful punch to the shoulder. They continued to chat, talking about various jobs he'd done, things she enjoyed about Vegas, and the times they had spent working together. He told her about meeting Wrench, and she told him about giving an old man a heart attack during a lap dance. They were having a nice time until a very large, very drunk man took Wrench's signing to be some sort of insult.

“Fuck you pointin' and pokin' at, asshole?” He slurred, swaying on his feet. Wrench's eyebrows shot up and he looked to Hammer, who stepped in between them.

“There's no trouble here, go back to your beer.”

“Fuck YOU, buddy! I'm not talking to you!” The drunk man swung at Hammer and missed, falling face-first into the floor. The large drunk man's equally large (and equally drunk) friends got to their feet, yelling incoherently and closing in on Hammer and Wrench. Wrench tapped Hammer.

_No killing. We don't need the heat._ Hammer nodded. Numbers and Letters quietly rounded behind the mob, waiting to see if any of them would strike first. The drunk men helped their friend to his feet, and the second he had balance he swung at Wrench as hard as he could, landing a solid punch to the ribs. Numbers took his cue to swing a chair into the man's side, earning him a kick from a few of the drunk man's friends. Letters swept in after him, knocking her elbows into windpipes, solar plexus', and groins. Numbers saw Hammer watching her and could already tell he was enamored with this strange, beautiful, intensely violent woman. Within seconds, and all-out bar brawl had started, with Letters breaking chairs and bottles over skulls, Numbers kicking people's knees out from under them, and the twins punching anyone dumb enough to get back on their feet looking for more. Between the four of them, it took a good fifteen minutes to knock them all down and get them to stay down. Numbers tipped the barman $100 as the four of them sauntered outside to the parking lot. 

_You OK?_ Numbers dabbed a napkin at Wrench's bleeding lip.

_I'll be fine. Thanks for having our backs._

_Of course, man._ Numbers watched Hammer saunter cautiously over to Letters and grinned.

“Hey, uh, thanks for helping us out.” Letters flashed him a dazzling smile. “I'm, uh, Mr. Hammer, by the way.” Letters held out her hand, and Hammer smiled and shook it.

“Ms. Letters.” A flash of recognition passed over Hammer's face and he briefly looked back at Numbers, who was still grinning.

“Ah, uh, I guess we're supposed to be paired up, huh?” Hammer nervously rubbed the back of his neck, and Numbers found it amusing how such a tough guy could still get nervous around pretty women.

“Seems that way.” Letters bit her lip in a psudo-innocent manner. “You know any good hotels around here? I haven't quite found a place of my own yet.” She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear and batted her eyelashes. Numbers tried to disguise his laughter as a cough. He'd been on the receiving end of Letters' 'sweet and innocent' act, and it was funny to watch Hammer fall for it as hard as he was. Wrench tapped him on the shoulder.

_What's so funny?_

_Your brother and the craziest, crassest, most violent sex-maniac I have ever met are partners..._ Numbers stopped to listen to their conversation again _...and now he's agreed to let her stay with him. She is going to eat him alive._

_Sex maniac? And how would you know?_ Numbers threw him an exasperated look.

_It was, like, a good 9 or 10 years ago, man._ Wrench smirked and rolled his eyes.

_I'm teasing you, asshole._ Wrench looked over to his brother, who was grinning stupidly at the blonde Asian woman in front of him.  _You think she's gonna traumatize him?_

_Probably, but ten bucks says he likes it._

_You think?_ Numbers shrugged.

_That's what happened to me._

“Bye, guys! See you later!” Letters called out. She winked at Numbers and waggled her eyebrows suggestively before turning to follow Hammer to his truck. Numbers and Wrench looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“He doesn't stand a chance.” Numbers said to nobody in particular.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
